A Wench's Wacky View of Football
Hello Critterview Cove Fantasy Football members. It's time to get this party started so my goal is to liven up the place with some wenchy, wacky, witless, and wisdomless football comments.
If you have any comments about my comments please keep them to yourself. I am already suffering from a severe case of inadequateness as a result of my team's (The Salty Wenches) standings in the CrittervilleCove Fantasy Football League (hence the witless and wisdomless comments that may/will be forthcoming).
"The" Wench
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Permalink Reply by Saltx3 on -
A few thoughts on weeks gone by:
How can the Salty Wenches have the highest points of 161 in week 5 and then the lowest points of 60 in week 7. Guess consistency is not a wench’s strength (consistency - now that was a long word to type).
In Week 7 Tonga’s Juicers had 4 players on BYE and earned 61 points and the Salty Wenches had 0 players on BYE and earned 60 points? WTHeck? Even a wench knows you don’t want your players going bye-bye.
And speaking of the Juicers – this team has had NO transactions and is in 4th place. How is this possible? The SS Stars also with NO transactions are currently in 7th place. The Mooses have the most activity with 48, yep 48 transactions but at least they are in 3rd place.
“Peter” changed his team name from The Boat Drink Bums to The French Army. Was he afraid the rest of the league would think his team drinks too much? Not that a wench doesn’t like a man in uniform but I’m just saying. We’ve got the Juicers & the Lagers, who does The French Army think they are fooling, we know how the French love to drink. And now that I think about it there is an animal pattern in this league as well, sharks (both Land & Turf), parrots, and “mooses”. That reminds me, now is the time to get out my animal print purse.
"The" Wench
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Permalink Reply by surfpirate on -
LOL ................... GREAT column! Honest!
By the way ..... the Salty Wenches scored a season league low 36 points in week #4.
So in near consecutive weeks .... 36, 161, 60 ... consistency may or may not be your problem.
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Permalink Reply by Saltx3 on
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sure, kick the Wenches when they are down....and down no further can they go unless more teams get added and me thinks it's a little too late for that!
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Permalink Reply by Dave Carlson on -
The Mooses always have more transactions than any other team..
I also have won 2 of the last three leagues I have been in as well as the last 3 seasons of fantasy baseball..
As of today the Mooses have moved up to first...
"Mooses Don't Looses"
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Permalink Reply by Saltx3 on
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A Wench's Wacky View of Football
11/3/10:
Holy pigskin – there were 18 moves in the league on Oct 27 alone. Add/Drop/Add/Drop.....that’s got to be nearing a record of some kind but I’m not going back and counting. That’s way too time consuming & a wench always has plenty of important things to do. There’s the nails, the hair, the makeup, upkeep of the dating schedule, pole dance classes, & so on. Oh yea, where was I - Add/Drop/Add Drop...The Mooses take this lead with 8 moves; 6 by The French Army; IroCK Surgers with 4 & the Salty Wenches (My Team) with 2. And speaking of adding & dropping, I thought it was always adding & subtracting and picking up & dropping. What’s up with that?
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Permalink Reply by surfpirate on
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Permalink Reply by Saltx3 on
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11/15/10
Anyone else forget that Thursday Night Football started last week? Apparently you need to be a little more on top of your trades or else you end up with an “empty” slot on your roster.
Week 9 had some interesting final score matchups....one tie (The French Army/ Gunthermoose); a close call (Salty Wenches/Turf Shares) and 2 complete blow-outs (SS Stars/Tonga’s Juicers & TTG’s Smoking Embers/Lifeguard Lagers).
I sure hope that everyone appreciates the Wenches remaining in last place. It actually looks like we are trying to stay there but really, that’s not the case. The Wenches just don’t have the football smarts it takes to score points. I’m thinking the Wenches may need to pick a different sport for next year or a different version of Football. How about that Lingerie League – that seems to be right up a Wenche’s alley.
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Permalink Reply by PA Parrot on -
Hey, the Screeching Parrots are kicking your ass! haha Last and SECOND to last! Glad I could help the cause though.
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Permalink Reply by Saltx3 on
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11/30/10
So by now everyone should be finished eating turkey and maybe hitting the gym to work off a few of those tasty tidbits.
You may notice my commentaries are getting shorter. This is because I have become sucked into the “why bother” mind set. Somehow my team has been in last place for a year (well, it feels like a year).
Anyway....sometimes our weekly matchups are so close it’s scary. This week we had half of them with 15 or less point spreads. Of course, there were still a few blow-outs (like 30 or more).
The play off spots have been clinched. Being in last place apparently doesn’t clinch anything for the Wenches (except their teeth). 4 of the 6 teams in the play offs have the same 8-4-0 record so that should make it interesting as we grow closer to the Super Bowl.
I’m off to drown my sorrows in my own bowl...of chips & dip :)
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Permalink Reply by surfpirate on
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The CCFFL playoffs begin this week Good luck to those of you who made it. There will be a fine championship coffee mug, design still in my head, that will be awarded to the ultimate champion.
Final standings and playoff schedule/matchups are HERE.
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